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Every Day is a New Day

I’ve come to realize that even though I feel an intense pressure to write, to edit and to get published RIGHT NOW, when I fail to meet the standards I’ve set for myself, it’s not (always) a tragic waste. It does not (always) portend imminent disaster. Each day is a new day. Each day is a chance to get better at fixing what I fucked up, and of honing the skills I know I must be gaining.

Each day is a baby step, and it’s hard to see how far I have come, but I know I’ve made progress. I know I don’t have the perspective to accurately judge my position relative to what I began. Maybe later, I’ll be able to see it. Maybe later I’ll be able to sit back and grin with pride, but right now, I’m too busy watching the words magically appear on the screen. When I do stop to look around, I’m so focused on where I want to be and figuring out how to get there to look back on where I started. There will be plenty of time for that later….when I’m sitting on my porch looking out over the waves of the Atlantic waving at me while I tap away on my iPad (Yes Pam, my iPad…get over it . 😉 ) or whatever new techy gadget is out there when I finally live at the beach.

Remembering not to harbor resentment for what I didn’t get done the previous day is difficult, but I’m working on it. Only by letting it go can I really make room for the things I want in my life. Forgetting to be afraid of wanting something so important to me is a skill I have to develop, but I’m trying.

Today is a new day. And so is tomorrow. And the day after that. And all the tomorrows after that.

There’s plenty of room to grow. I’ll get there.

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